A New York Take on the DOGE Office Scrutiny

When the White House DOGE office, in all its newfound enthusiasm, shoots off emails to federal folks asking them what they did last week, you can hardly blame the bureaucrats for scratching their heads in confusion. After all, they’re working under conditions akin to gridlock on the FDR during rush hour—most things aren’t moving. So, let’s explore the buzzing hive of bedlam this has stirred up.

A Closer Look at the Email Bomb

The Saturday Surprise

So, there you are, enjoying your regular Saturday routine. Perhaps a bagel, a schmear, and your local corner newsstand banter, when bam, an email lands like a pigeon from the sky. The subject? A charmingly straightforward "What did you do last week?"—classy, right? The Business Insider managed to snag a peek. Inside, it insists on "approx. 5 bullets" recounting weekly achievements. Cc’ing the manager is a must, and just like a late-night show, they want it all by Monday at 11:59 pm EST.

Orders & Outrage: Bureaucratic Chess

Uncle Sam’s Whisper to Elon

It’s not every day Big Apple dwellers hear that President Trump had a chinwag with Elon Musk. Uncle Sam said, “Get aggressive with spending cuts!” What followed? Emails that left workers more puzzled than a tourist trying to navigate Times Square on New Year’s Eve.

Minds in a Bind

Let’s face it: much like navigating the subway with no service, these workers were left in the dark. Over at the Department of Education, one employee mentioned, “I’m at a total work stoppage." They’re like a Knicks fan in the offseason—hanging in suspense. And some others? They considered playing the “ignore it” game, like that unopened takeout menu crammed under your door.

Frustrated Feds: Tales from Our Nation’s Workers

The Outcry

A federal worker, not entirely thrilled, called it “pure harassment.” It’s like some random stranger on the street asking to see your Trader Joe’s receipt.

Over at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, whispers roll through the hallways. "How many people they’ll fire based on this?" one employee muses aloud. Fear of layoffs hangs dense in the air, much like a summer evening in July.

Meanwhile, the Federal Communications Commission worker had no qualms naming the email "horseshit," proving New Yorkers aren’t afraid to call things as they see them.

Broader Cuts and Consequences

After Trump’s slam dunk second-term entrance, about 77,000 federal workers took the buyout like they were accepting tea time with Marlon Brando. Across agencies from US AID to the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, pink slips are more common than pretzels on a street corner.

DOGE has frugally claimed to have saved $55 billion in taxpayer dough. Sure, some may wonder if it’s actual savings or just mirage-level math.

Reaching Out

If your own inbox is sporting one of these emails and you’re itching to tell someone, Business Insider’s reporter is ready to listen. Just remember, use a non-work device—ain’t nobody got time for more trouble.

For now, the White House remains mute on this uproar. Until they speak, federal workers are left pondering where to hang their hats and how to juggle this tighter-than-ever rope. As New Yorkers, we value efficiency, but we see the DOGE chaos for what it is—a reminder that not even the bureaucracy is immune to the odd, sudden twists of life. So keep those emails coming, because the city that never sleeps sure has time to read them.